Fixation
by CarriePika
Summary: Unrequited love can be hard, but it's even worse when the object of your affections thinks you're dead. Still... there's nothing stopping Shadow from watching.. and waiting for his chance. WARNING: ShounenAiYaoi.
1. Chapter 1

_DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story do not belong to me. They belong to Sega and Sonic Team. I did not create them, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. Only thing else I've got to say about this is... if shounen-ai/yaoi/malemale relationships make you squick, then stop reading right now and go somewhere else. _

Oh, and if you like that sort of thing then please, enjoy! 

**Fixation**  
By Carrie Riff

Chapter 1 

There's something decidedly sad about the love of your life not even knowing you exist. 

That's not entirely true. He does know I exist. We've met. 

But, there's something sad in knowing that the one you love thinks you're dead. 

Perhaps the saddest part of that, is the fact that I've let him think so for this long. 

Now you see why I'm standing here, in the darkness, instead of up there by his side. Even though it's where I long to be. 

So many things I long to do. He's so beautiful. And so quiet. Mysterious, in his way. 

This delicious enigma wrapped in a perfect scarlet package. 

You don't know how many times I've stood, right here, watching him, wondering what it would be like to feel that soft red fur beneath my bare fingers. What it would be like to tangle them in those long flowing spines. What it would be like to feel those cream coloured lips against my own. 

Yet... here I stand. In the darkness. Alone. Simply because... 

I am afraid. 

Afraid of being found out. Afraid of being laughed at. Afraid of not being taken seriously. 

Afraid of being rejected. 

I watch the way he moves, strides across from one lookout point to another before crossing those long slender legs and sitting. He'll meditate now. He always does, right about this time of day. He's so beautiful. Sunlight streaming against that perfect fur. 

I just know it would be like velvet beneath my hands. How I long to just... touch him. 

Someday I will. 

It's difficult to get close to him. His senses are incredibly sharp as I found out the first day I watched him. 

He'd been training, doing what were obviously some form of martial arts exercises. The way he moved was like poetry. Powerful, fluid motions of scarlet arms and legs, hands curved. It was hypnotic. It's been a long time since I've been that entranced by someone. It made me want to get closer. 

It was my first mistake. I've made a few of them so far, I'm not afraid to admit that. 

I'm not good at this love thing. I barely understand what it is I'm feeling let alone how to go about it. All I know for sure is... 

I can't stop watching him. 

Sitting there, near one edge of the shrine, legs crossed, hands resting on those strong thighs, eyes closed. He's so beautiful. 

Patience is one thing I have lots of. I can sit here and wait for hours and never tire of watching the sun play on scarlet and cream and white. 

Sunset is my favourite time to watch. He usually meditates from just after midday until just after sunset. And he always sits in the same place. 

I'm grateful for that. It's the perfect spot. 

It's almost time now. A glance towards the distant mountain range confirms that, though I don't really need to. My internal clock is infallable. 

I can almost count the seconds till it's going to happen. Three... two... one. 

The sun hits a break in the mountains and one long shaft of golden light streaks across the distance before it strikes the shrine. And I hold my breath. 

Living flame. 

Golden light caresses across perfect red fur and turns it the colour of fire. For a moment, just this moment, he looks otherworldly. Almost... 

Divine. 

And as always, I am spellbound. I want to touch him. Long to run my fingers through that firey fur. He's so beautiful! All I'd have to do is just climb those steps and reach out and I'll be able to find out just how soft he is. 

The sound of a branch breaking beneath the heel of my shoe is loud in the still air. For a moment, it sounds almost like gunfire. 

Before I can even react he's on his feet, eyes open, hands curled with those wicked claws held at the ready. Those eyes. 

Purest amethyst. 

And they're looking right at me. 

Of course I run. What else can I do? I'm not supposed to be there. His island is a sanctuary, not open to the public, and I am a trespasser. 

Fortunately, I'm also fast, and the edge of the island is behind me in no time. 

I've made a mistake again, only now he knows I'm there. He couldn't have missed it, he was looking right at me. I don't know what to do now. 

I need time to think. 

----- 

_So.. that's the first chapter so far. Heh.  
Lemme know what you think, I guess?_


	2. Chapter 2

_DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story do not belong to me. They belong to Sega and Sonic Team. I did not create them, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. _

Only thing else I've got to say about this is... if shounen-ai/yaoi/malemale relationships make you squick, then stop reading right now and go somewhere else. 

Oh, and if you like that sort of thing then please, enjoy! 

**Fixation**   
By Carrie Riff

**Chapter 2**

It's been a week. 

It seems like forever since I've been back here, none the less. A week shouldn't seem that long a time compared to my lifetime, but it was like an eternity. 

Stepping onto the island almost makes me feel like I'm.. home. That thought makes me smile, just a little. 

Someday it will be my home. 

Like an old friend, it welcomes me. Birds in the trees, wind through the leaves. I know he's here. He never leaves without reason. 

It makes him easy to find again. 

Especially since I've learned most of his routine. If there is one thing I learned, and learned quickly, it was that he almost never varies in his schedule. 

He is a creature of habit, my Knuckles. Oh, that thought makes me smile. 

My Knuckles. Mine. 

But all in good time. I have to do this right. I will not risk losing him to chance or happenstance. 

I refuse to make another mistake. 

The sun hasn't been up a half hour yet. I know exactly where he'll be, I just need to get there. 

This little clearing of trees and near the center of it stands the prettiest little cabin. It's beautiful in it's rustic simplicity. Functional and practical. I loved the look of it from the first day I laid eyes on it. It fit him perfectly. 

Someday it will fit me as well. Someday I will call it home. 

Someday I will walk through the front door and he will look up and he will smile and those beautiful amethyst eyes will sparkle and he will open his arms to me and I will hold him close as he welcomes me home with a kiss. 

What I wouldn't give for that day to be today. 

But all in good time. I can be patient. 

The movement of scarlet catches my eye and I still. He runs almost like clockwork though his busy days. 

Though nothing of clockwork has ever had such fluid grace. And as always, I am enraptured. He is so beautiful. 

Long, slender headspines move, sway just a little, with that measured stride. Strong legs pacing perfect marks as he moves out to his usual spot. I love getting up early to come and watch him practice. 

I've been given a special treat today, it seems, and as he prepares to begin his exercises, I find myself unable to stop looking at those hands. 

Bare. 

It's a sight I've never had before. Always, those powerful hands are swathed in white, hidden beneath the fabric of seemingly oversized gloves. And they are amazing. 

Large, larger than normal, larger, I know, than mine are. But strangely enough, they are slender, too. A powerful grace in those long fingers, those broad palms. I can see it clearly as he lifts them, pulls them into obviously well practiced positions. Like this, I can see those claws. Wicked scarlet, curving just a little above those long fingers. Dangerous, I know. 

As beautiful and deadly as he can be. Watching as those hands curl, move, slice through the air with practised ease, how that body shifts and turns, I can't help but see it. 

A living weapon. Just like me. 

It's part of what drew me to him in the first place. 

The minutes stretch on into hours, and still I do not move. Not so much as a muscle. I love watching the sharp fluid movements of his patterns, lost in the grace that scarlet form posesses. I long to touch him. Want to, so much. But I will not make another mistake. 

Three hours have passed and those strong arms move, pull to a relaxed position and I watch that strong chest move with deep, carefully measured breaths. I am beyond pleased. This is the first I've watched his entire exercise routine, the first I've kept myself from wandering close and nearly being detected. Now, I will learn just what he does afterwards. 

A few minutes pass and he moves then. Pacing away from me, heading almost determinedly in the opposite direction. A moment later and I'm following, silent as possible, keeping close enough only to be sure I haven't lost him. Following him can be beyond difficult and I don't want to lose him like I've done so many times before. He moves through the foliage as if it isn't even there. But I'm getting better too. 

Something. I can hear something now, and we're getting closer to it. It distracts me for a moment, and I lose scarlet between the trees. I have to find him again! 

Throwing caution to the wind for a moment, I move faster, searching, searching for scarlet. 

I find it. And it's close. 

Much closer than I was expecting. 

Such is my surprise at suddenly being so very close that part of me almost turns and darts back away. I can't be seen! I'm... not prepared yet. Still, I do not know what I would do or say to him. It's the only reason why I have not simply walked up to him and let him know of my presence. First, I have to learn. 

For the moment, I simply keep myself hidden. So, so close. Just over ten feet away, and I'm holding my breath, hoping he will neither hear me, nor turn around and see me. But now, I know what the sound that distracted me is. 

Clear and clean, tossing an arch of mist into the air, water tumbles noisily over the edge of a short cliff, not seven feet high, before pooling at the base and tapering off into the curved banks of a pretty little river. And he is sitting at the edge, doing something I cannot see, his back turned to me. 

A moment later, it's obvious, as one scarlet hand moves and I find myself gazing at red and green shoes, neatly paired, being set aside. 

And my heart sort of stops as he pulls himself back to his feet. Feet that are bare. 

It seems I've been given two treats today. 

Long headspines sway, gently, with the motion of that slender form and it is utterly hypnotic. I could not tear my gaze from him even if I wanted to. 

He strides, easily, along the river edge and climbs onto the rocks along the base of the waterfall. Water cascades across the hand he holds outstretched now, beneath the flow, before the rest of that scarlet form follows. 

It's about then that I realize I have seen nothing of his beauty before now. 

Head tilted back, eyes closed against it, he stands in the midst of the fall, scarlet fur stained dark as it plasters against that form, wet through in an instant. I watch as those broad hands come up, as he runs fingers through those long headspines. He moves, water carressing every inch of that form, turning again so it can step partly from the falls. 

He is ... beautiful. 

A shake of scarlet head and those eyes open, blinking water from them. And then he goes very still. 

He's looking right at me. I blink. When did I move from the cover of the trees? Dear god, I'm standing in full view. 

Those violet eyes blink, and then narrow sharply before he begins to move. But I'm moving, too. This time there is no mistaking that he really has seen me. 

"Shadow!" 

My name. In that voice. I have never heard him speak my name before. I've stopped before I know it and I turn, only to find that he is coming at me across the riverbank. 

And he is angry. I can see it. 

I cannot face him like this. It is why I have been watching. To learn some way I could approach him without angering him, without shutting off my chances before I've even found out how to take advantage of them. He does not call after me again and the island is behind me in a matter of moments. Damn me for being spellbound by his beauty. Now he knows it's me. 

Strangely enough, that's a good thing. Now he knows I'm still alive. 

Perhaps I've just given myself an opportunity after all... 

----- 

_I'm starting to wonder if I should be having this much fun writing this story. Muahahaha   
Let me know what you think Chapter 3 is already in the works. _


End file.
